Redefining Strength Podcast
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Through real coaching insights and conversations with leading experts in women’s health, metabolism, and behavior change...each episode breaks down the science in a way that actually applies to real life.
Because the answer isn’t working harder. It’s learning how to work smarter so your effort finally creates the strength, energy, and confidence you’ve been chasing.
If you’re ready to stop starting over and start building a body you can count on, this podcast will help you get there.
Redefining Strength Podcast
FHP 538 - You're Sabotaging Your Own Success...Here's How
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
We are often our own worst enemy.
And it comes back to the fact that whether we believe we can or we can’t we’re right.
How we perceive things, dictates our actions - whether we see things as obstacles or opportunities is our choice.
That’s why I wanted to discuss some common ways we sabotage ourselves, including what I call our “Selfless Sabotage.”
One of my fabulous coaches Andrea will provide some great tips to help us even learn to be a bit SELFISH!
But first I want to talk about how you may be dooming yourself with doubt.
Self-Sabotage and Being Selfish
Speaker 1We get up and we do the same things over and over again , but we have and we miss so many moments in our lives . You know we have to pause , slow down , figure out what change we can make , because 20 years from now , what a shit coulda . And we're going to live in regret that we didn't take it the time to do it now .
Speaker 2Hey guys , cory from Redefining Strength , welcome to the Fitness Hacks podcast . Today I want to talk about self-sabotage , because often we are our own worst enemies , and it really does come back to the fact that , whether we believe we can or we can't , we're right . How we perceive things , you know , whether or not we see things as obstacles or opportunities really dictates our actions , and so often we hold ourselves back because of how we interpret the situation or how we judge ourselves . So I really want to discuss some common pitfalls , some common ways we sabotage ourselves , including what I call selfless sabotage . I have one of my fabulous coaches , andrea , joining me to talk about being more selfish and how to enact that , as weird as that sounds . And then I want to dive into some different ways that we're dooming ourselves without . So let's jump right in . Are you dooming yourself without ? So we can doom ourselves without in a couple of different ways . Way number one is that we can go into a program skeptical , and so , while we might see it as a good thing that we're not going to be fooled by our program , we don't think it's a magic pill or a quick fix . When we go in not fully believing some that something will work for us .
Speaker 2We don't truly embrace the changes . Yes , we might think , okay , well , I'm doing the workouts that are listed , I'm doing the macro ratios , but there's a lot of room for growth in those things often that we're not embracing . We're doing the workouts right , but we're not maximizing every rep , we're not truly trying to push as hard as we can , we're not trying to optimize the rest . We're not trying to understand how things are working to then adjust over time and really manage our expectations . Or we're going through the motions with macro ratios and not really understanding okay , how is our quality of food impacting it ? How can we break this down to be more sustainable ? And then we don't make the mindset shifts that we need to truly make these habits a lifestyle change . We don't ingrain them in a way that they're going to last , and so we doom ourselves without because we don't trust in the process and the mindsets don't really allow the actions we might be implementing to become a new part of us . We're sort of faking it till we make it , instead of acting as if we don't have that buy in .
Speaker 2We also often doom ourselves without by not believing in ourselves , by not believing that we can enact the things in the way that we need or stick with them long term . So often we think there is some flaw with us that we can't overcome , and so we doom ourselves without and think , oh well , you know , I've just never been able to push past this barrier , or I can't do this or I can't do that , and in both of these ways both being skeptical of the program and then not believing in ourselves or seeing that we could improve in areas we doom ourselves without . And if we don't have that buy in , it goes back to whether you believe you can or you can't , you're right . So , whether or not it's not believing in the program or yourself , if you doom yourself without , you're ultimately going to set yourself up for failure . So when you go into something new , be open to the learning experience .
Speaker 2I found one of the best ways to help myself get over that skepticism of whether or not it will work is being like there's a good chance . It might not . If you just own it , then it's okay , right . Okay , there could be challenges that come up , there could be pitfalls . This might be an experiment that doesn't work out for me , but I'm going to learn something from it . So I go in a hundred percent , embracing and trusting the process , deciding to embrace the mindset shifts , the action shifts that I'm going to need to do it , figuring that that is the only way to really test out whether or not it will work for me .
Speaker 2And so , by managing my expectations and seeing this as this opportunity to learn and experiment and then get something out of it that way , whether or not it actually drives me forward towards my goals , helps me not be skeptical in a way that dooms myself right . I am acting as if I am embracing those habit changes , knowing that this could lead me to the vision of my lifestyle I want . Maybe it won't work for me , maybe these habits aren't exactly right because one size doesn't fit all and there is some experimentation there , but at least I'm not doing myself with doubt . I'm embracing that I'm not necessarily going to get to my exact outcome , but I'm going to learn from it right . So I'm going all in with it . And then I'm trusting that I can embrace these changes because ultimately , if we don't believe that we can do something , we're not going to do it . And sure you know , maybe there we're not going to be a professional athlete anymore , we're not going to achieve specific things , but we can always improve from our current situation and what's really the alternative right .
Speaker 2So believing in your power to make a change , to embrace the new things , to be able to overcome things you thought you couldn't , and push yourself outside your comfort zone is really key if you want to see a new and better result . So focus on buying in , focus on you know , doing what you can . It even goes back to like if I were to say , raise your hand as high as you can , right , you raise your hand up , but if I were to say , raise it higher , you would give a little bit more . We can't even sometimes fully know what we don't know until we're in the moment and sometimes , even though we're trying to give a lot , we don't realize that we're not giving her all and until we question . So go in with your , your mind open to the opportunity and something new , and even in in the openness of believing that you can achieve more than you thought possible .
Speaker 2I'm super excited to have on my fabulous coach , andrea , to talk about why you actually need to be selfish and how trying to be selfless might be sabotaging your results and sabotaging your health and not making you the fabulous role model you could be . So , andrea , thank you so much for joining me . I'm super excited to talk to you all of this . Let's talk about why especially women feel that pressure to be selfless .
Speaker 1Sure , and thanks for having me . I'm super excited
Prioritizing Self-Care and Overcoming Pressure
Speaker 1to be here too . So I think women feel the pressure to be selfless because one they they feel guilty if they spend time on themselves . They want to pour all their time and energy into their families or into their spouse or into their careers , and then to take time and put into themselves . They start to feel guilty and they don't understand well , I , I can't do it all . I , I have to do this and I have to do this . And it's hard for women to say no , and it's hard for us to ask for help and to become very vulnerable . And we find ourselves in this perfect circle of trying to dig out like and then , 20 pounds later , we realize that we're stuck , and we're in this stuck loop of of taking care of everyone else but ourselves .
Speaker 2And if you don't have anything to give , it's very hard to give of yourself . So there's this vicious cycle where the more you're trying to put yourself last , the less you're truly able to take care of everybody else . And then the more you put yourself last , because the work expands , fill the time allotted .
Speaker 1Right and we realize that then we're we're always tired , we're not feeling good , we're sick , we're always hungry because we're tired , and so we eat extra calories and we're not eating the right things and we're in this , in this loop . We're stuck and we can't figure out why we can't take care of ourselves . And if we do start taking our selves , we start to feel good about it . We're like all that yoga class was really good . And they're like well , I shouldn't have done that because I missed this and I missed so-and-so's game and it took time away from the family , whereas it makes you feel like you're a better mom , a better spouse , a better partner , a better career . You know if you're taking care of yourself .
Speaker 2And it's interesting too , because we talk so often about you know , like if you were talking to a friend and they were telling you like , oh , I don't have time for this , no , you got to take care of yourself , right , we're all telling them what they should be doing , yet we're often not putting ourselves first too . And it it's a weird thing , because what we value , we need to actually sort of practice what we preach , right , because the more we're doing the things that we say we want our family to do , our friends to do , the more they're going to do it , because they're also going to see that role model . Yet we feel selfish doing that .
Speaker 1Right and it's not hard , because we tell all our people you got to take care of yourself . Or when you're talking to your friend who's going through something very similar , you always tell them you need to take some time and go for yourself maybe go for a walk where we don't take the same advice because we don't know how to put one foot in front of the other . We're overwhelmed with everything that we have to do in our lives and , for instance , like in a perfect day , you know , you think about I'm going to wake up without the alarm , right . I'm going to wake up full rest day after eight or nine hours of sleep . I'm just going to feel amazing .
Speaker 1My meals are going to be prepared ahead of time , because I took Sunday to prep all my meals and to figure out what I'm going to make for dinner , and everything's going to be done . I'm going to get the kids out of the door on time , my spouse is going to get out the door on time , I'm going to be able to get my workout in and everything's going to run smoothly . It just doesn't exist right . There's life happens , things happen , but we have to learn how to navigate through them . We have to set up some core boundary of responsibilities and boundaries that we want to do so that we can start taking care of ourselves .
Speaker 2And in talking to you about the best ways because the perfect day doesn't exist , let's face it the more you need a perfect day too , the more it's like you wake up at 6 am and one minute later all of a sudden there's kid pee and poop on the ground , or dog pee and poop , and you're like I was thinking more of dogs there , but there could be human hopefully not , but there's some disaster right . The second you wake up and you're in a reactive state the entire rest of the day . With that , and you put it so well , we have to find ways to be proactive over reactive . And can you talk a little bit about , like , what the difference between those is ? Because I think a lot of people will start to be like , holy moly , I'm always in that reactive state .
Speaker 1Sure , and more than likely we are , unless we set ourselves up for success . So there's two kinds . There's proactive and reactive . And reactive is when you get up , the alarms going off in your ear . You wake up and Timmy's got a sore throat and a runny nose and your daughter's soccer uniform wasn't washed the night before and she needs it before you go to school and the breakfast wasn't ready . We're out of eggs and we don't have anything for breakfast . All these things start to pile on and really go into like a snowball effect . That's when you're being reactive to any situation that comes in .
Speaker 1Now let's say you wake up , your daughter's soccer uniform was done the night before because you knew she had a soccer game the day , and you made sure that there was stuff in the fridge because you did Amazon groceries the night before , kind of thing .
Speaker 1Or you prepared the coffee maker and all these things are set in place . You're being proactive on what you can control , being reactive to certain situations that's gonna happen throughout your day . You might have a meeting come up that you weren't scheduled for , but you're able to set your day in a more of a proactive mode to fill that . Okay , I can be reactive to this because I've already prepared for this and this and this and knowing that you know for dinner on the way home you don't have to go . Oh well , I'll just go through McDonald's or I'll pick up a pizza because I don't have anything ready . I didn't take the chicken out because it wasn't thought . Where you're thinking and planning things ahead , it takes just minimal time just to be able to set your day up , to be more proactive , instead of reacting to all the things that are thrown at you .
Speaker 2And I think it can be hard to switch that mindset because it's very easy to let things slide . Not wanna put in the extra effort when you are busy to be proactive , but the more you can be like how can I make this so easy to do the next day and the day after that the more when there are things you have to be reactive to , you feel less overwhelmed by them . In terms of being more proactive , how would you recommend that someone sort of sets themselves up for success so they don't feel like they're always behind the eight ball responding to everything ?
Speaker 1Sure you wanna try and automate easy habits or easy chores so they become habits . So automating , like doing meal prep that's a good way to figure out what's gonna happen throughout the week . One of my best suggestions that I think a lot of the clients like is doing a to-do list Now writing down every single thing you have to do . It's gonna be overwhelming . I want you to . I have to brush my teeth , I have to shower , I have to get the clothes ready , I have to get the lunches ready Everything you have to do and then cut five out and then look at it again , cut five out again , choose your top five things that you have to do that day so it feels less overwhelming .
Speaker 1So that way you can set yourself up going at the end of the day . Okay , I did all those five things . Now the next day , what do I have to do for the next day ? And go on to the back to that list and pick five more things for that next day , so to speak . That way it makes it less overwhelming and you feel like you're easy to accomplish those tasks when you only have five
Prioritizing Time and Asking for Help
Speaker 1.
Speaker 2I also think it allows us to own our priorities and own our reality a little bit more , because I think a lot of times we say we don't have enough time , but we don't even look where the time is going .
Speaker 2And so the more you can outline this is where my time is going You'll start to notice little things where you're like and I don't even necessarily mean like the watching the TV to relax or some of the fun things that you're doing , because we don't want to cut all those out . But you'll start to notice , okay , this isn't really worth the effort , or I don't have to do this on this day with all the other things that I have . And so you do start to cut things out or realize you might need to ask for help on some things , and it doesn't have to be you that does it . And that's a hard conversation to have , especially when we are so used to trying to take on the burden of yourself . How do you start to embrace ? I can ask for help , and this is not me being weak or not being not able to do it all .
Speaker 1Absolutely . And that's where you have to maybe sit the family down and say , okay , we have these responsibilities . You know , all right , joe , you're gonna handle this tomorrow . I need you to pick up the kids at this time . Or you know , sally , you're gonna make breakfast for your brother and sister , kind of thing , and take small things off your plate but give them responsibilities to take that time away from you .
Speaker 1So you wanna work out first thing in the morning ? Well , that note that you have to wake up before the world gets up , before the kids get up and before the house gets up , kind of thing . But you have to set yourself up going . Okay , I'm gonna get to bed at a decent time , I'm gonna get some good sleep , I'm gonna have my workout clothes right by the door , so I know that they're there . I don't have to fumble through and get dressed in the dark . But I know when I get back let's say I get back at 6.30 , everyone's ready to go by seven I know the kids alarm's gonna go off . I know so-and-so is gonna make breakfast or their breakfast is already in the fridge and they can go ahead and make it themselves . But giving them small responsibilities that take those responsibilities off your plate to carve out some time for yourself .
Speaker 2And in doing that you really are inspiring your kids as they grow up to want to do that for themselves . Your spouse , like your friends , you're telling them like , hey , it's okay to do this , and , oddly enough , you kind of look like supermom for doing that , which sounds really weird , because you feel like , oh , I'm asking all these other people to do things , but other people don't know that . They just see that everything's operating like a well-oiled machine and they're like , wow , how do you do it all ? So we don't embrace enough the importance of asking for help and how that can really make everybody's life better .
Speaker 1Absolutely . There's so many ways you can automate things . Grocery shopping is one of my biggest pet peeves . I hate grocery shopping . So if I can do a click list or Amazon and have it delivered to the door , I saved probably a good 45 minutes , maybe an hour even .
Speaker 1But doing those things where I don't have to waste the time on going to the grocery store and I'm going to save money because I'm not going to get the things that are on the first sale , like buy to get one kind of thing , I'm going to get what I need .
Speaker 1I'm going to be done and over with it . It's going to be at my door , so I don't have to worry about those little time things that come throughout the day where I'm like , okay , I have to find time to go grocery shopping and do all this , and then I can have the groceries delivered and I can say all right , Parker , I need you to put the groceries away . I need them put away by I get home , take out the chicken so we can have it for dinner and tell the kids that you need help . I need you to help out around here . I'm trying to do this in the morning , so I need a little extra help in the afternoon and kids are more than likely the way you approach it . They're going to be like sure I'll help you out because they want to feel responsible . They like having that responsibility for themselves .
Speaker 2And I think it's also thinking about your to-do list not just as the things you need to do for everybody else , but even putting your non-negotiables on that to-do list as well , because if you don't put the things that you value or that you feel like you need to do for you as important things , you're not going to prioritize them in your day . You're going to do the dishes , you're going to do the laundry , you're going to do the house cleaning , all these other things that unfortunately , unfortunately will still be there tomorrow , right , right .
Speaker 1But there's so many times that you walk into the kitchen and there's dishes in the sink and you're like well , I got to go for a run but I got to take care of these . You know what Dishes are going to be there when you get back , writing down what your non-negotiables , really figuring out what you want to do to set up your day . Maybe it's making your to-do list every morning , maybe it's making sure that you do your daily reading , or maybe it is making sure that you carve time out for Pilates or exercise for that morning , knowing you have to get those non-negotiables done within a certain amount of time . Those are things that you have to set in place so that way , your day is already taken care of and then you can go ahead and take care of everyone else because you've already taken care of yourself .
Speaker 2This all sounds great , right ? We obviously love all these different things . Put yourself first . We preach this , right . We try and practice what we preach , even . But someone might be listening and they might be like , well , that sounds really great , andrea and Corey , but I don't have the time . I just have too much on my plate . I have to take care of my aging parents , I have my kids , I have all these different things . I would just feel too guilty . How could you tell someone like that to find one way to start making a change , to be a little bit more selfish , and in a good way ?
Speaker 1It does sound overwhelming . You see the elephant in the room . You don't attack it all at once , you bite it off bit by bit . Making small changes lead up to bigger changes down the road , maybe putting some boundaries in place to say , okay , I know I have to do my parents at this time , but I'm going to give that to my brother on that day because I need to find some time for myself , because I'm starting to be resentful that I have to always go over there .
Speaker 1I'm noticing these things and I noticed that my health is failing as well . I need to take care of myself . It's just small changes , that maybe I'm going to get to bed earlier and I don't need to watch that Netflix show . I'm going to get up 20 minutes earlier in the morning to go for a walk , just to get out . Feel that sign on your face . Take some nice deep breath and get your body moving . Start making those little changes , those little habits , but putting boundaries around that . Kids , this is my time , don't call me unless the house is on fire , kind of thing . Or do it before everyone gets up . That way , you don't have to feel guilty because no one's up . You don't have to take care of anything , you're taking care of yourself before they get up , so to speak .
Speaker 2I love that attitude of something is better than nothing , and those small changes add up like the biting the elephant to devour it . That was a great image , but it is one of those things that you need to start with something small . It might be five minutes . While you're doing the dishes , you're marching in place too , as silly as that might feel . Or when your kids are at a sport practice , what little workout can you do on the sidelines ? It is finding those times and being creative in your approach to it versus just putting up that roadblock . Because I do think we get to that point of overwhelm , whether it's looking at your to-do list , whether or not it's being reactive during the day , and all of a sudden this wall just comes up and we don't try and find the creative ways through it . We don't look for the little light shining through the wall where we could actually punch through and make a change Right .
Speaker 1Right , and then we can start with a non-approach . You know , oh , I can't do this , all right , so Timmy's sick and now I have to cut my workout short . It's not all or none . You know what , like you said , when the kids are at practice , do a loop around the soccer field or do some squats while you're brushing your teeth , you know , all these little changes add up and you'll find yourself that you're doing them without even thinking about it and you've carved out that time for you . And then you can carve out a little bit more time for here , or change something else , or find time on Sunday that you know I'm going to make meal prep , I'm going to throw a bunch of chicken and soul cooker and that's going to be our meals for the rest of the week , so to speak . But it takes little changes here and there , and those are when those habits start to become automated , and then you don't have to stress out about it anymore .
Speaker 2And in terms of talking about boundaries because you brought that up as well too that you have to set those boundaries not only for yourself , but for others in your life how do you go about doing that and how do you stand firm in them ? Because I think that's one thing that will all be like , oh , I'm putting up these boundaries , and then also you'll be like well , and then you'll be like okay , and then it's like well , and you just sort of let them fade , and it never makes a change .
Speaker 1It's hard to set boundaries , especially if you don't have them in place . So setting small boundaries , like I was just talking with a client last week she has her mom calls and whenever her mom calls she goes and grabs the bag of chocolate chips . It's like , okay , how about when your mom calls , you go for a walk , and that way you're moving your body and you're helping relieve from some of the stress it's putting in small steps . All right , I need everyone to bring their laundry down by this time , or you're not getting any clean clothes . All right , you're going to be the stinky kid at school tomorrow because you don't have any clean clothes .
Speaker 1You have to stand in your convictions that these are your boundaries set in place . And a long time ago I set up a boundary that you know morning time is my workout time and I usually go before the kids get up , so to speak . So I know when they know when I'm at the gym , not to call me , unless the house is on fire , so to speak . But I set that up a long time ago and so that they know mom's going for a run , only call her when something's wrong , and they know that I'm just a phone call away . But they know if I don't get my run , mom might not be a very nice person throughout the day , so it's best to give mom some time to go get her run in .
Speaker 1So it's just setting up small things , small boundaries and standing within those boundaries . It's very hard , especially if you're not used to it , but you have to say I'm standing firm to this . This is part of my non-negotiables . I really want to make sure that I get this done for myself , even if it's 10 minutes . In the evening of quiet time , let me sit in my quiet time , let me listen to my podcast , let me write in my journal , let me read my book for 10 minutes , but knowing that I'm shutting the door and I'm turning off the world just for my time , and it can be as little as five minutes a day , and then it can grow from there and there .
Speaker 2And you touched on something that I think is so important for us to recognize that a lot of times it's us making us feel guilty . Right , Our perception of things is really what impacts how we react , the actions we take , and a lot of times it's not even the other people in our life that are judging those things . It's us giving into the boundaries because we think that they don't like them or we feel bad about them . So I think even recognizing that and being like , okay , this is an act I have to force myself to do . No one else is truly judging it is a very key component of setting those boundaries .
Speaker 1Oh for sure it's not . We're making ourselves feel guilty .
Self-Care and Overcoming Self-Sabotage
Speaker 1My kids aren't being like mama can't believe you're going for a run . They'll come back and they're like how did you , how fast did you go ? Or how far did you go ? They want to be , they want to know oh , you did some time for you . How do you feel ? Do you feel better , Mama ? I know you were gone for 10 minutes . Do you feel better now ? Yes , I feel better . They'll realize those things and they'll realize that that is so important to you . But you have to stop telling yourself that they're upset or they're mad because you did this .
Speaker 1Sometimes we just need to walk away to collect our thoughts and , like I said , you go sit in the car for five minutes . No one's going to bother you . But sometimes we just need that time just to get our thoughts in order , write things down , put a schedule up on the fridge . This is mom's time , this is what I'm going to do at this time , or this is my time . I need to have this blacked off . Please don't schedule in this . Put it in your calendar so you don't have to schedule a meeting , so that way you know that this is the time that you're doing this .
Speaker 2And everything you've mentioned comes back to pausing and assessing our patterns , our lifestyle , our behaviors . I think that's really key to point out because so often , if we don't pause and we just keep acting , nothing's ever going to change because ultimately the action is going to keep repeating the same patterns , the same perpetual cycle . So it is really key points . We just slow down , press , pause and say what is going on . How can I make a change ? There's like a great woodcutter story where , like , one guy is like constantly hacking at the entire day , doesn't pause at all to sharpen his axe , and he goes over the other guy who had paused at points to sharpen his axe and he's like well , you took breaks , how did you finish faster than it ? Well , my axe was sharper so I could actually get more done right . It's the same sort of concept with all of this . If you don't pause to assess what's going on , to make a change , you're not going to see a new and better result for yourself .
Speaker 1Absolutely . You have to take time to slow down and figure out what's important . A lot of times we're running in this very vicious cycle . We're not happy and we get up and we do the same things over and over again , but we have and we miss so many moments in our lives . We have to pause , slow down , figure out what change we can make , because 20 years from now , what a shittakutta . And we're going to live in regret that we didn't take it the time to do it now . There's no more present time than right now , so to speak . You can't wait for the right moment . The right moment is never going to happen , but taking time and assessing what can I do differently and what can I do that will make me happy and fill my cup , so to speak , so that way I can turn around and help everyone else .
Speaker 2So many great tips and again we're talking about just biting off a little piece of the elephant and just maybe the tail right . One thing that you would recommend everybody sort of start with today . If they're like okay , I've used the excuse that I don't have time too long . I put everybody else first . It's time for me to take care of me . What would you tell them to start ?
Speaker 1with . I would start with writing down what your non-negotiables are . Really , sit down and focus it can be three , it can be one and it can be five Really understanding what you want to put into every day , so that when you lay down at the end of the night and you put your head down on your pillow , you're like I took care of myself today and I only took care of everyone else , but I took care of myself and I feel pretty good about doing it . So let's try and do that again tomorrow . But writing down what your non-negotiables are , what do you have to do ? What do you want to do every single day ? Now that you have to , but you want to do every single day . It can be as small as washing your hair , you know , taking a shower or writing down a note for your son's lunchbox , whatever it might be . Make your non-negotiables , put them on your fridge , put them on your bathroom mirror , so that we know every day Yep , I did those . I took care of myself .
Speaker 2I love it . What you value , you need to prioritize in your day , and that will make sure that you get to it and you take care of yourself so you truly can take care of everybody else .
Speaker 1Absolutely , absolutely .
Speaker 2Well , thank you so much , Andrea . Those were so many helpful tips . I'd love to hear what you guys found the most valuable and what you're going to implement today . So I want to talk about self-sabotage when it comes to our nutrition , and there are a few things I see people repeating that keep them stuck , even though they think they're trying to do more , do better , eat cleaner , right , see better results faster .
Speaker 2And the first one is this perfection pressure . Okay , I get it . I had the all or nothing attitude . I even use the excuse so if I can't do it perfectly , what's the point of doing it ? I'm an all or nothing person . I have to go all in . But in this perfection pressure , I ultimately held myself back from making any changes .
Speaker 2The more we can embrace those 1% improvements , the more we're going to really see results snowball , because for most of us , food isn't just fuel , it is lifestyle , it is emotion We've associated with so many other things in our life and it is enjoyment . There are foods we simply just love and give us mental satisfaction , and the more we can embrace that , the more we won't sabotage ourselves by trying to seek out some , you know , standard of perfection that just doesn't exist . We're human and we're fabulous and flawed . So when you go into this , don't sabotage your own success by putting such a pressure on yourself to be perfect . Okay , you're holding yourself back by doing that instead of seeing 1% improvements you can make . This also relates back to the eating clean . Okay , I'm sorry , there is not one standard of eating clean and , yes , we know that whole natural foods and finding more micronutrient rich foods is really ideal . But at the same time , what people deem good and bad really varies . I'll post berries on a story and someone will be like so much sugar . I'll post something else like popcorn . Someone be like it's , you know , empty calories , when it actually has nutritional value and micronutrients and fiber , and maybe it's not right for them . Maybe the berries aren't right for them , but broccoli or a cruciferous vegetable might not be right for you If you have thyroid
Balance and Intention in Nutrition and Exercise
Speaker 2issues . The thing is , is there's really no one standard of clean ? So the more we start demonizing foods , the more we just make ourselves feel guilty for eating something that we enjoy or that , you know , we might have thought was part of our balance at one point or we might have heard was really healthy in some other situation . So , instead of demonizing foods .
Speaker 2Instead of striving for some arbitrary standard of clean , focus on trying to get the micronutrient diversity that you need to include to be healthy , addressing your health concerns and even figure out what foods make you feel best . You might have certain intolerances that make you know you have to go low FODMAP , but someone else may not have to worry about asparagus or different foods . It's about meeting yourself where you're at and even assessing okay , if I'm tracking what foods make me feel better and worse , or even the foods that maybe , like alcohol , they don't make me feel so good , where what is the cost and reward for me to include so that I can live my healthiest , happiest life ? Because if we're stressing over constantly eating clean , trying to put this pressure on ourselves , ultimately we end up sabotaging our own consistency and we fall off a lot and include a lot less quality foods over the course of the year . Then if we just struck that 80 , 20 balance and didn't make ourselves feel so guilty for enjoying those other foods not to mention there is a whole bunch of extra stress we're putting on our body than if we actually just enjoyed some of the foods we loved , so there is that cost and a reward that we have to really balance when we're assessing what foods are right for us , which also goes into the labeling foods as good and bad . Again , just like the , there's no true clean .
Speaker 2When we assign a moral value to food , we just make ourselves feel guilty for it , and that guilt often sabotages us more than even what we ate . I mean , if you think about a lot of these situations that we get ourselves into and for me personally it's been like oh well , I had one cookie every in the day . Oh well , I might as well just have 20 other cookies . I didn't ruin the day with one cookie . I probably could have worked it in , and now that's actually how I would approach things . But be .
Speaker 2That guilt of feeling like you ruin something Not only often makes you do more in the single day , but it sets off a pattern where you then don't get back on track for weeks or months and you end up not only regaining the way you potentially lost , but then you even feel like it's harder to get started again . You feel like nothing's going to work for you . You doubt the process . You feel like certain systems or methods , even that would be good for you , are restrictive or bad , because you now associate them with this restrict , binge guilt cycle . So stop assigning moral value to foods and stop making yourself feel guilty , which ultimately sabotages you more than even overeating by a thousand calories in one day and killing your deficit for that week . Just move forward , because a lot of times , if you create that mindset of okay , this happened and I move forward , you end up creating better consistency , better success , better adherence to your plan long term , which ultimately gets you better results .
Speaker 2Then don't feel bad for seeing food as more than just fuel , and I know I mentioned this , but I think it's really key that we do recognize that food is so much more in our lives and that so many of us do eat things for enjoyment . Okay , that is what food is . Food has been manufactured to be that way and a lot of us want to include certain things like that we want to have birthday cake , we want to have the ice cream , we want to go out for cocktails , and that's a okay . You have to find the vices that fit your balance . Stop making yourself feel guilty for them . That's just sabotaging you . Okay , when we get these binary views of things instead of saying where's the nuance in it ? What can I make myself feel best , including where is the cost and reward for me ? We really do sabotage our own success In our workouts .
Speaker 2How do we often sabotage our success ? I think one of the main things I see going on is the more more , more attitude , more reps , more sets , more moves , less arrests . So more work during the workouts , more workouts , more sessions , more , more , more , more , more , more . And in trying to do more , we often burn ourselves out , we lead to injury , we lead to overload , we have a lot of wasted effort and this can be such a detriment to our long-term adherence , not only because of injury , because of burnout , because we're not going to see results faster , but because a lot of times , the harder we feel like we're working , the more we feel like we deserve results immediately . And if the effort doesn't equal the outcome or the result , we want to give up right , because the harder you feel like you're working , the more you feel you deserve , and that's not really how it works . And so the more we can reduce the effort and not feel like restraining and pushing and white-knuckling our way through so much , the more we're going to embrace the process . So if you're working really hard and trying to do more constantly in workouts that you're feeling burned out and mentally drained and feeling like you deserve results faster , you might want to back off the more , more , more and find ways to do less , so that you can almost have that pain of staying stuck out way of the pain of change . When that pain of change because you're doing so much does that way of the pain of staying stuck , you don't move forward , you don't keep up with the changes , so that more , more , more , the working harder , harder , harder is often why you feel like you deserve results faster , when they're not going to happen faster . And so we have to reduce that a little bit in order to stay consistent with things Again , not lead to the physical burnout , the injuries , the overload , the wasted volume .
Speaker 2The other thing I think often sabotages us is seeking some ideal , and not only with our nutrition but with our workouts . People constantly ask like , how many strength work should I do ? What's the ideal ? And I always give the really annoying answer of well , what do you have time for ? Because if you don't have time for something , you're not going to do it consistently and you're not going to stick with it and you're not going to see results from it . It's way worse to design for six days a week when you only have three , because often in designing for six days , you're designing for the time that you have set out to use , and so you might break up workouts differently , volume differently , and so then by only doing three of those workouts , you're not going to see the same results as if you had actually designed for the three days that you had .
Speaker 2So instead of seeking some ideal schedule , say what is the real success schedule for me that I can be consistent with ? Because if you design for the time you have , you're going to build , and often if we start with less and even crave more and we feel that success with what we're able to do , we're going to want to do more . So starting out you might feel silly to do five minutes five days a week , but if you know you can consistently do that , that is going to build momentum more than pushing yourself to do something that really doesn't feel realistic or feels overwhelming right now . Too often we get into the overwhelmed territory and we give up . So design for the time you have and make yourself crave more and make yourself feel that mental success , because the more you do , the more you do . When we feel successful with the changes we're making , we want to make more changes . When we don't feel successful with the changes we're making , we fall off our plan . It's easier to keep falling off and not make the changes we need to see .
Speaker 2And then don't just do more volume . Be intentional with your training . I honestly dislike follow-alongs because I feel like people try and keep up , they try and do more , they're not focused on what they feel working , they're not intentional with the moves and that's why we see so much overload occurring , because people even be like well , my form is good or I'm falling along with this , or I even modified , but that doesn't mean that you matched what you needed . You weren't intentional with the moves . You were trying to keep up over staying focused internally on what you felt working .
Speaker 2And so often we do that with exercise , where we even try and do more reps , more sets , more volume to things , add in an extra move for a body part Over just trying to maximize and get quality reps . Often less is more , because the more we do , the lower our intensity generally dips . While you might feel like you're pushing in 100% at the end of an hour-long workout , you're probably not pushing at the same 100% intensity you did at the beginning , unless your hour-long workout was designed for an hour because of the rest you included . But so often we're trying to do these hour-long workouts that really should have been 20-minute sessions and our intensity has dropped so much that we're either training slowness , we're not really lifting maximally , our hormone levels are even working against us because we'll see cortisol levels peak the longer we go . So we're doing more and feeling like we're working harder or not to see better results and even potentially work against ourselves . So focus on intentionality with your training and quality reps over doing more , and then don't feel like everything just needs to be harder and harder .
Speaker 2I already talked about the mindset with that that the effort doesn't equal the outcome . We want to give up . So not only are we sabotaging ourselves from that mental standpoint , but so often by only striving to make things hard , we're not trying to meet ourselves where we're at or adjust based on what we actually need . That's where we get into the seeking to be sore , and soreness isn't the best indicator of growth . Sometimes you can feel refreshed from our workouts and get more out of it , and when we're trying to only make things harder , we generally cut out , rest , or we try and lift more loads than we can actually maintain , or we try and do a harder variation that we haven't fully earned and that's where things start to backfire . Or we're not truly working the muscles we want to work , we're getting injured , we're just pushing to a point of diminishing returns . So do consider the intensity over the week cycle . It cycle how you're working areas .
Speaker 2Understand that there are different drivers of muscle growth and that you don't always need to feel destroyed from your workouts to see benefit . And often , if we're only feeling destroyed from our workouts , we're not creating that progressive overload . We're not building up , we're not building back stronger , we're just beating our body down and so we're not gonna see the muscle gains , the metabolic improvements that we really want and therefore even the fat loss that we want . And then just remember , we too often try and do more . We try and do all these different things , we try and seek out some ideal and we get burned out . We have to meet ourselves where we're at . That is the most important thing we can do with our workouts Meet ourselves where we're at , realize that sometimes we have to regress to progress .
Speaker 2I can't tell you how many times I back off , things go back to basics when I could technically even lift more . I do body weight , glute bridges even though I can hip thrust a ton of weight and glute bridge a ton of weight because I know that those basics are what allow me to do that and I don't mind sometimes backing off because I know I need to in order to keep pushing forward . So meet yourself where you're at and realize you're never above those fundamentals and if you only try and do more , you're ultimately gonna sabotage the quality of the workouts that you're doing . And it's not just about lifting more weight , but it's about lifting more quality loads , not only for an individual movement or one rep or one set , but overall for the weeks and months . So make sure that you're meeting yourself where you're at and sometimes again , regressing to progress means that you're making a move .
Speaker 2Technically , I guess , easier , but harder for yourself because you're able to recruit the correct muscles and do it properly . I can't tell you many times like for me , the best example is when I was learning to do pushups properly . I could do 20 pushups At least I thought I could , but they were fugly as all get out and they were horrible pushups in proper form and I was compensating to do them , but they weren't perfect pushups when I regressed to progress , took myself back to basics to really get that form perfect . Holy moly , did they become harder ? And it was because I was maximizing the movement . So , instead of just trying to progress something to do a harder variation , have the ego in it or do more loads and have ego in it regressed and really maximize each and every movement to get more out of it .
Avoiding Habit Complacency and Self-Sabotage
Speaker 2So before I officially wrap up this episode of the Fitness Hacks podcast , I did just wanna talk a little bit about habit complacency and allowing yourself to default back into old patterns . What you do to achieve a goal is not necessarily what you'll do to maintain that goal , and often , as we achieve that goal , we can find ourselves putting ourselves on autopilot or getting very complacent in the habits . But we have to have a goal we're always driving towards or we're gonna sabotage our own success . We're not standing still , we don't do well , we don't have end dates or something we're driving towards and even maintaining is gonna be cycles of potentially wanting to gain more muscle , focusing on performance , focusing on even making the habits easier so we can do less to achieve more , but we're driving towards something and we wanna be conscious and careful of that habit , complacency and even ways that we've given ourselves a way out . And what I mean by that is so often we've lost the weight but we've left the door open to regain it because we've always repeated that cycle , and so we don't push ourselves to slam that door closed and have to move forward . And this actually came up in my unicorn coaching group the other day .
Speaker 2When we're talking about giving away clothing that didn't fit any longer , that allowed us to regain the weight , slam that door , give away those clothes , do things to tell yourself you can't go back . Because I think a lot of times we give ourselves that way out to slide back into old habits , and that makes it that much easier because we're sort of questioning ourselves , we're doubting ourselves and we're dooming ourselves with doubt and that allows us to lose the progress we've worked so hard to build instead of finding other ways to drive forward . So don't allow that habit complacency to creep in . Make sure that you're slamming the door on going back to what you used to have and you're finding ways to keep moving forward , keep implementing and growing on those habits .
Speaker 2So don't let the old habit attitude sneak back in . Just remember that our beliefs really do shape our actions and we have to embrace that mindset of change . Don't do the selfless sabotage . Don't put everybody else before your needs , your goals . If you can't pour from an empty cup , so make sure you're taking care of yourself . Make sure that you're really assessing what you need so you don't sabotage your own success . Digitizationnet .
