Overcoming Obstacles and Setting Realistic Goals

Cori 0:00

Hey guys , this Cori from from Redefining Strength . Welcome to the Fitness Hacks podcast . This is a show where I share all my free work on the nutrition tips . I'm not going to ever fill this episode with sponsorships or ask you to buy anything . All I ask in return is , if you're enjoying the podcast , to leave a review or leave a five-star rating or , even better , share it with someone you think it might help . This will only take a few minutes and would mean the world to me and possibly change the life of someone you know . So let's jump right in . So I quit . How many times have we just given up on something right before results are actually going to snowball so often ? And January 12th 2024 is National Quitter's Day . Michelle brought this to my attention actually last night and we decided we had to do a episode on this because so often we are the ones sabotaging our own results by giving up when something might actually working . So , michelle , with bringing this up , I want you to dive into what you think is often the culprit behind us saying I quit .

Michelle 1:04

I think one of the biggest issues is we tend to put so much pressure on the month of January to start and actually implement things , and I think it's a good reminder , like , as long as you're trying and you're trying to improve , it doesn't need to happen in January , it doesn't need to . All the change doesn't need to happen this month . We have a whole year and you don't need to wait an entire year if something does fail . You just need to readjust and kind of stay on track . So that's kind of the first thing is don't put so much pressure on getting everything right in the month of January .

Cori 1:38

I think that goes for even any other time as well , and I want to sort of bring this out to any time we want to start a goal right , because while the New Year's resolutions are that time where we're often most motivated to make big changes , at any point we want to make a change . We do often put our like this pressure on ourselves to be perfect , and so often then that first little deviation makes us give up when we don't recognize all the changes that were already happening . Right , we were good for like 12 days , 11 days already , or even , if it wasn't perfectly consistent , eight days . We may change it in eight days and we don't recognize that we met , recognize the one day that wasn't perfect , which then says , well , why do anything right , but something is still better than nothing . And the more we try and get consistent with those things , the longer we stick with it . Often the more things build , because we don't necessarily always need more tactics , we need more time .

Michelle 2:26

Yeah , and that kind of goes into . My next thing too is so many , so often we just take on too much and it's more than we can chew . Like if you are someone that's like , okay , I'm getting into exercise , I'm going to hit the gym seven days a week , but the week before you were hadn't even , hadn't even gone once , Like that probably isn't the most realistic goal for you to set . So it's also just being like , like you mentioned , like we want things to snowball . So if you're doing a little bit better than you were the previous week , that's still a win .

Cori 2:56

But we don't celebrate necessarily the small improvements because they don't feel sexy , they don't lead to the fad-dye results , but they do lead to lasting results and discipline is built .

Cori 3:06

We've had this conversation . A lot like discipline is built , but it's built on being able to do something and repeat that something for long enough that then you can build more off of it . Because then if you've increased let's just say like 10 grams of protein , and then you can increase the next week 10 more grams and then 10 more grams after that all of a sudden you're up 30 grams of protein daily . And so then , if you do have life getting the way , there's a lot more likelihood that you'll still be up 10 grams , even if you don't hit your 30 goal , than you would have been had you tried to go to 30 all at once and never sort of slowly built up , because you make those lows less low by sort of building and stacking off of them , because it makes it so easy to replicate a little bit less than what we're doing currently right , which is often higher than where we were at . So it's really that habit stack and those 1% improvements that add up .

Michelle 3:50

Yeah , and that's exactly it you have to recognize and we don't give ourselves enough credit because we are our worst critics you have to pause and give yourself that recognition and that gold star when there has been an improvement . If your goal was to hit the gym seven days a week and you hit it five , that's still a lot better than the week before . So really recognizing those 1% differences and even though that 1% may not seem like a big change , it is and it can really add up .

Cori 4:22

And not only can it add up in a positive direction , but it can also hold us back when we don't recognize some of the deviations that are sort of play in . Because I think another thing that leads to us saying I quit is that we don't see changes happening fast enough and we feel like we're working really , really hard right , because even small changes can feel a little overwhelming and the pain of staying stuck has to outweigh the pain of change and sometimes , when the pain of change is really pushing back , it's hard to keep doing things right . So we get this feeling of , well , I'm working so hard and not seeing the results I deserve , and we start to overlook those inconsistencies . And I'd actually brought up on an earlier call we were doing , you know , the 1% deviations and how much they can really add up . So if we think we're doing all the right habits but we don't look at the actual consistency , we might not notice that we're slowly going off course . And Ryan made us Google the example , so I didn't butcher it , which I might still butcher it anyway .

Cori 5:12

But if you're on a flight from JFK to Tokyo , right , and you're just off by that one degree , that 1% , you'll end up in the middle of the ocean instead of getting to your destination , which would not be good . Right , we don't want to land in the middle of the ocean . And the same thing happens with our goals . If we're off by that 1% , what might not seem like a big deal of not logging one meal or one snack or one bite , lick or nibble right , all of a sudden becomes two or a whole day unlocked or other things going to play in . So all of a sudden , we're nowhere near the habits we once thought we were doing , even if we're doing just enough to feel like we're working hard with them . So it's this weird thing of like the feelings aren't data sort of , so to speak , but also 1% deviations that lead us , off course , to feel like we're working hard but not seeing results snowball , yeah , and you really .

Michelle 5:54

And part of that is to truly have success , you have to be very specific with your goal . So it's not . You know , you hear so often like , oh , I'm going to eat healthier , I'm going to exercise more , okay , that's great . How , how often are you going to go to the gym ? What workouts are you actually going to do ? If you're going to eat healthier , where are you going to start ? What's going to be your main focus ?

Michelle 6:20

So often people generalize these goals and I think truly , we tend to go off of goals that we feel like everyone is doing and we want to fit the mold .

Michelle 6:30

And it is recognizing that sometimes that probably isn't going to work for you because you have to individualize it . It's fine to have health goals and of course , we want everyone to have health goals and improve , but you have to individualize that health goal for you . So if all of a sudden , you're like , okay , you know , my friends are all doing this goal and their goal is to hit X amount of protein throughout the day , that's great For you . Probably the main focus is this is the meal that I struggle the most to get my protein at . I'm going to focus here first to start increasing my protein needs , and that is really kind of the big thing of trying to avoid that white knuckling your way through whenever you're trying to do anything new or trying to create new habits is being extremely specific with it and , as you mentioned , like even if you're off on other days or even if you're didn't get a complete day done , you still have that specific thing that you hit for that day .

Cori 7:30

But it's even in having that very specific goal , you'll notice those one-present deviations to correct course before you just completely keep making them . And on top of that , I love that you bring up how okay . I think that question is something we don't ask enough . And I don't have the devil and the angel on my shoulder . I have an annoying little kid poking at me being like how , why , how , why Right ? Anytime I'm like looking at something and I want to write something off or give up on something , I always go back to that questioning too . And the how question , I think , is so important because we say I want to increase my protein Cool . That's a great habit to focus on . How right ? Well , I'm going to eat more protein and meal . Okay , how right .

Cori 8:10

The more we break it down and give ourselves something specific to do , the easier we make things .

Cori 8:15

And going back to that whole pain of staying stuck has to outweigh the pain of change .

Cori 8:18

Right , if our goal is significant to us , we're going to embrace more sacrifices , but at some point priorities in life are going to make it feel not as significant , not as worthwhile , especially if the pain of some of the changes become really uncomfortable with other stressors we have going on in life and if that happens , instead of trying to find a way to make you know your goal more significant to yourself which sometimes we can't do , we can't feel the potential of even having achieved it we have to break down those habits so they're less painful , so to speak . So it feels like we're making less sacrifices because all stress goes in one bucket and if that bucket is overflowing with stress , you can't just keep putting more stuff in right and some of the priorities in life stresses in life you're not going to be able to necessarily stop , but you can make those changes less stressful so that you can still do more of them than you would do otherwise . So it is breaking things down and really personalizing , as you said .

Michelle 9:08

And what I really like about this too is like , if you are right now in that state of mind where you're like I have not been hitting my new year's resolution goals or whatever , if you've attempted a new habit at any point and you're like I'm just not hitting it , instead of having the mindset of like well , I'm just going to quit , I'm giving up , it's too hard , have the mindset of okay , this has been difficult , I'm on the verge of quitting . I need to reevaluate and truly kind of take stock of what is going to be the most beneficial for you that's going to still give you some of those wins but is taking into consideration where you're actually at in your life , where you are , how you are handling with current stressors , and sometimes taking a step back and kind of having an easier goal is still going to help you work towards , you know , that finish line .

Cori 10:02

And even taking that step back and saying , hey , I often say nothing will ever work for me . Right , with the I quit it usually comes nothing ever works for me , no program will ever work for me . Trust me , I've done that whole moop pow , feel bad for myself , you know , go sit on the couch thing . And often in that moment , in order to truly move forward and see the results of all , sometimes I have to be like am I just repeating the same pattern ? Am I saying I quit , nothing will ever work for me ? But is nothing ever working ? Because at this point , six weeks into something about six to nine weeks , is where I find I usually fall off , or where even clients generally fall

Navigating Challenges and Seeking Outside Perspective

Cori 10:38

off .

Cori 10:38

At that point where you've worked hard enough for long enough and results , yes , I've snowballed , but either you've gotten a little complacent or maybe they're just about to sort of really hit that momentum point right . We give up , we quit before things can actually be achieved . And so I like to assess is this that stick point ? Is that this is that hard point where I want to give up , where the challenges are becoming a little more than I truly want ? How can I double down on the things that are working to keep pushing through , because often , if we do sort of stop and assess , it is just that hard point in that journey where you're over that initial motivation . You've been doing things long enough , you've seen results snowballed , maybe they're slowed , you've gotten complacent , whatever else , but things have slightly slid and you have the opportunity now to sort of refocus , reset , keep pushing forward . But so often we turn back and it is that like assessment and that setback we really need to take to realize that we're repeating sort of the same cycle .

Michelle 11:30

And sometimes I think it requires an outside perspective to see if you are falling victim to the same cycle that you've repeated that has caused you to fall off . Because sometimes , again , we think we know how to do things and we think that we have it figured out and we know , like we know , the basics of , okay , to be healthier , to exercise more , to do all these things . This is what it takes . But again you kind of take your own perspective out of it at it and sometimes hearing other people be like , hey , this is a challenge , this is , this is one way that I stick to my diet or this is one way that I make sure that I am in improving my movement or getting the most out of my workouts , is actually relying on others for help .

Michelle 12:15

I think so often we we want to kind of struggle on our own and I think part of that is we don't want to share our struggles with others because we feel like we should kind of be able to take care of our own body . But there's so there's so many people out there . That just gives a different outlook . So this is really where I think coaching honestly , if you were someone that's really feeling like you're really struggling . This is really where coaching comes into play , because that we can . You can get that outside perspective and kind of potentially get new tips that you hadn't even really thought . Or maybe it was so basic that you're like oh yeah , I'll do that , but you never actually do because you haven't seen it actually put in a plan to work .

Cori 12:57

It's hard to trust a change that feels really uncomfortable and we do search for this thing that's sustainable . But what's sustainable is what we've always done . And if you really think about that phrase , when you look back at something , oh that wasn't that bad , it's because you embrace the hard changes . But at the time it probably felt really uncomfortable and wasn't sustainable . And I think even in that , like looking for that accountability , we need that outside perspective at times , because we're really good at justifying our excuses . I know I am that that whole . But well , I could just buy , you know . But even with coaching it was actually funny someone posted on there how do you become more coachable ? And I , you know , went through different things and she's like , yeah , this is all well and good , but , right , we put in that .

Cori 13:41

But to justify almost not making a change , because change is scary , it's hard , we don't want to fail , right .

Cori 13:46

We don't even sometimes realizing , realize we're justifying because we are going back to priorities or things that have held us back in the past , realizing that ultimately , still , it's really our choice as to whether or not we make a change and view something differently . And , you know , take that different perspective , embrace coaching in a new way . Right , and tell you , for me it was a hard thing , oddly , to do after growing up with a lot of coaching , for some reason , you know , as I got into adulthood I was like , oh , I don't need a coach for this , I can do it on my own . Okay , well , sure , but look at how much time I just wasted when I could have had a cheat sheet . And now I'm like I won't work with a coach who doesn't believe in coaching , because I want someone who has that , because also makes you a better learner . Right , it's more coachable . But it is something where we are very good at justifying our perspective , like it's a safety mechanism . So if we don't have that outside perspective , sometimes we can't see and know what we don't know .

Michelle 14:37

And I think a big part of getting that outside perspective is and this is probably gonna ruffle some feathers but if your main goal and your only like way of seeing if you're successful or not is weight loss , I'm gonna say it's gonna be a lot harder for you because every I have not had a person come to me for help that has said Okay , my goal isn't weight loss . I've never had that like . Even when they're like Well , I'm not that concerned about about the scale , but I do want to improve . They still are looking at those clients Even are still stepping on the scale and using it as a form of okay , is this working ? Is this not working ? But the problem is is Rarely , is the skill actually the reason so truly . I think sometimes having that outside perspective Forces you to kind of have some Interpection in her may have said that word wrong but and actually look within to see well , what is the real reason .

Michelle 15:33

Because I mean , of course , like a scale is a good and can be an indicator . But why do you truly want to have a chain ? Are you just going for weight or are you trying to gain muscle ? Is it really to reduce chronic joint pain and you know if you're at a little less weight you're going to have , you're gonna be more flexible You're you're not gonna have as much pain . Is it to have more energy or a body that's able to do things that you enjoy longer , like hiking , biking , playing or playing ? You know , playing with your kids , playing with your grandkids there's so much more than just the kind of the surface level and I do think , like you know , we talked about that newest perspective of getting in the habit . But sometimes I feel like really getting down to the core , why you're here or why you initially wrote those changes down . That is going to help you actually stay focused on that goal and

Set Goals, Track Progress

Michelle 16:28

Raise .

Michelle 16:28

Recently , for me , I've been thinking more of things and I heard it somewhere and I don't remember I may have been one of our coaches actually said it and it kind of stuck with me on A call , but it's what are you putting your deposit in for ?

Michelle 16:42

So every day you have your , you have that , these funds that you're given , and you're either depositing in for your health or you're kind of depositing , you know , kind of the negative , like you're putting this , you're dropping this in kind of the negative bucket , and this has been kind of a shift for me recently , and this is kind of a silly thing .

Michelle 17:01

But I have a race that I want to sign up for and my husband was kind of challenging me because he's like well , remember , the last two races you signed up for , you didn't train and you just kind of jumped in , which is true , and I would never suggest anyone to do that , but I felt I felt victim to that and so part of my new year's thing was like , okay , I'm gonna prove to him that , like I'm gonna be serious about my training and I have like a mileage goal this this month . And it was kind of like every time I get on the treadmill or go out to run , I feel like I'm putting my deposit in for my race , like I was like putting this in so I can buy this race later , and it's kind of having that perspective with your health in general . You're putting your deposit in so you can Continue to do things longer that you enjoy , you can continue , continue to have that active lifestyle for as long as possible . I .

Cori 17:52

Love that visual and I even think that that could be something helpful , where you do your habit and you put , maybe , a deposit in a piggy bank or you put a rock in a jar so that you can see those results accumulating . But it's it's Recognizing too that , like what you think your , your goal is , isn't necessarily the only significance to it . Like even a goal that we might decide is , you know , people say it's vain or oh , that's , you know , not that important , it doesn't impact them any things . Like a lot of times , those do have more significance and the more we dig into them , the more we will embrace some of the hard changes we have to make , which helps us stay more consistent . So really digging deep into your why is very , very important . But then setting those outside things to keep you accountable , right , like you have that habit goal so that you're training for the race , yes , yes , which is motivational , it's your end goal . Right , it's a deadline , which are all great things . But you have those habit focuses each and every week to help you see success .

Cori 18:46

Because the more ways we measure success , the more ways we have to show ourselves the success we're actually achieving , versus so often we don't recognize it and I think even a part of that is so often we run from the negative spot we might have been in right , those before pictures we don't want to share or whatever else .

Cori 19:04

And instead of running from them , instead of not wanting to take them , take them and keep them in your rear view mirror , keep that perspective of how far you've actually come , because I think so often it's just like , oh , I don't want to be here , okay , but that shows you the distance of your progress already , to keep you moving forward , to get more space between it . Whereas if we lose that perspective Like what is the saying ? Like if you don't learn from history , you're bound to repeat it . Right , we don't repeat it . So we want to keep how far we've gone , to give ourselves that perspective , because it's very easy to get caught up in just how much further we have to go . So I think the habit goal is the visuals , the reminder where we started , and really owning the significance of what we want is just so freakin key .

Michelle 19:45

Yeah , and it's like , like we've mentioned multiple times , but it's never just giving up and not having that all or nothing mindset , like you said . Like keep things in your , in your rear-view mirror and but don't be afraid , if you do backslide , you can always take that step forward , or that two steps forward .

Cori 20:03

More like a side step right , we make the mistake . Besides step around , we keep moving forward .

Lessons for Improving Forward

Cori 20:08

Life isn't a video game where you get to start over and Know all the lessons you've learned and just go from the beginning fresh , start right . Everything we've done prior is still there , so we just have to keep moving forward , learning those lessons to constantly improve . Thanks for listening to the Finisax podcast again . This is the place where I share all my free workout and nutrition tips . I'm never gonna run sponsorships or ask you to buy anything . All I ask in return is , if you're enjoying the podcast , to leave a rating review or share it with someone you think it might help . This will only take a few minutes and it would mean the world to me and possibly change life of someone you know .